Some thoughts

Laying out my mind sometimes..

Thursday, 13 November 2014

When something is amiss!

When is something amiss? Is it when we are missing something or someone? Or is it the idea of having something or someone around so overwhelming that we feel something is amiss?

I have often felt something amiss in a situation it bothers me quite a lot. It feels like you know that something is not right but you can't seem to understand what. It's like you have a puzzle in your hand and you want to solve it but something is not right even though you seem to be having all the pieces something seems amiss.

It feels the most when you know that something is amiss yet nothing can be done about it. When you have to deal with whatever you have got. When mindlessly browsing facebook seems like the only option. Things just don't work like how you would want them to.

It is sometimes easy and sometimes difficult to even consciously realize that something is amiss but when this consciousness is achieved then it gets worse because affects even more. But sometimes it is in the midst of feeling amiss that the situation suddenly makes the most sense,

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone

One of my classmates mentioned this today and it surely got me thinking "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." The director of my previous college also insisted upon leaving the protected cocoon and coming out into the world. We may think about these as mere statements or we may not pay any heed to them at all. But on a little bit of introspection it can be said that the statement truly makes some sense. First it is very important to mention what is comfort zone? For me it is any protected environment or an unknown situation or territory. This is not constant throughout life, it keeps changing with time and is different for different people.

As kids, here I am only referring to Indian kids of middle and high income group families we are brought up like delicate darlings. How far will we remain like that? For some of us it ends when we become adults this would be when we turn 18 years old. But there are few lucky ones who remain so for much longer. I am saying this only out of personal experience.

How long can life be about trivial fights among friends or showing off among the peers? Till when will can one think about his/her superficial reputation that too among people who are anyways judgmental? Well I don't have an answer to any of the questions, however this in no way means that I am not troubled by them.

As far as my individual experiences go, yes I have had most of my learning experiences after I dared to come out of my comfort zone. This may be changing cities or living outside home or even handling situations at home which were unknown for me. My comfort zones changed with time and situations and I only learnt once I had the courage to leave the comfort zone whether permanently or temporarily. Thinking about the title statement is like crossing a maze in the mind. Every time I think I am nearing the answer I am thrown back to think more and reflect more.

Tuesday, 11 November 2014

Aapne India toh dekha hai aapoko hum Bharat dikhate hai

Its been a different experience in the state of Rajasthan when I got to visit some not very known places. And I a girl in an Indian suit popularly known as the churidaar was out of place. The place had moved on with respect to availability of mobile phones and its usage but not so much in values.

The Bharat that I saw had women clad in beautifully bright dresses (lehangas). And wearing beautiful jewelry from nose rings, to earrings, kamar band, bangles, tikka, kadi, toe rings, just about everything you can imagine. Every married woman was wearing it, young or old. These women take care of all the household chores, the cattle rearing, the children and various other tasks, all this in their traditional attrire.

But was it really beautiful or is it a symbol of being chained to the husband or the family. I saw a 16-17 years old girl who was married. I identified the same by her attire. She was wearing a bright yellow lehenga, it had painstaking embroidery. Along with that she was wearing all the above mentioned ornaments. The weight of the girl would have increased about 7-8 kgs because of her attire and the jewelry. There was hardly any place to stand in the jam packed bus. Yet everyone around and the girl herself didn't find anything amiss. For them everything was completely normal. This is Bharat.

On talking to one of the male teachers of a government school in the area we found out that under age school going girls are silently married during vacations. This happens so that no one comes to know about it. They aren't sent away to their husband's houses (as that happens only when they are legally allowed to get married) but they are made to wear kadi in their ankles. Kadi is a heavy anklet usually made of silver, weighing 500 gm. This the married women have to wear in both their ankles.Other kids on seeing the kadi tease these girls. This is one of the reasons why girls leave school as they don't want other children to make fun of them. This is Bharat.

I was looking out of the bus's window and saw 3 women. The elderly lady was sitting on the bench sipping tea. The younger women were squatting in front, sipping tea with their ghunghats uptil their nose. This is Bharat.

When me and my friend (a girl) were staying in the block and everyone seemed to know about our arrival. We were looked at as though we were aliens in their land. It seemed very difficult for people to accept such boldness and independence from women. We were stared at by every passing person. We were asked as to why were we in the block, where were we from, where were we staying, and many other such questions. Clearly people couldn't accept it. This is Bharat.

Our country is full of paradoxes. On one side we are doing (whatever little) for girl's education on the other we silently accept girl child marriage. In the corporate girls are taken as equivalent to boys atleast it is an accepted assumption but in villages girls are a liability. The goddess Durga is given most respect but the daughter in law is like an unpaid servant during the day and an unpaid escort during the night. This is Bharat.